The Contest
by NeSiQuis
Summary: It's time to plan the annual SOLDIER extended training trip, except the Firsts can't decide where to go.  Cue: Zack.  Goddess help them all.


"Right. It's time to sort out the annual SOLDIER extended training trip." Angeal leafed through the papers in front of him, a frown creasing his brow in concentration.

"What? Already? Didn't we just have one of those?" Genesis grumbled, less than thrilled at the prospect of the trip. Last year's expedition had seen the top 3 Firsts and the pick of the Seconds and Thirds travel to Costa Del Sol. He'd spent a nightmarish week in high humidity which made his hair frizzy, being bitten half to death by mosquitoes and, worst of all, with an unpleasantly bubbly Zack Fair. The Third Class had encouraged all the Seconds and the other Thirds to go out on the town the first night there, where they partied so furiously that most were fit for nothing for the first few days, due to the extremity of the hangovers some had acquired and the bouts of food poisoning the others had fallen prey to. Mako reacted badly to tequila and tacos, it seemed.

Angeal sighed. "We only have a couple of months in which to organise the next one. We have to decide where, when and who."

"NOT Zack."

"Come on, Gen, it was hardly his fault. He didn't force the others to go out."

"It was his idea."

"Still, come on, it's hardly fair-"

Sephiroth, having sat in silent contemplation for a while after Angeal's announcement, interrupted the burgeoning argument. "What are the possible locations for this year's trip?"

Angeal searched through his papers and located the list. "Junon, Rocket Town, Gongaga, Costa Del Sol-"

"Not a chance."

"If you'll let me finish, Genesis. Corel, Nibelheim and an as yet unconfirmed location on the Mideel continent."

"Gaia, no. No way am I going anywhere near home. Not a chance."

Angeal sighed again in exasperation. "You won't be happy with wherever we pick, Genesis. So why complain at all?"

"I enjoy complaining."

"You don't say-"

At that moment, there was a furious knocking on the door. The three Firsts looked questioningly at each other. They expected to be, and usually were, left alone during their weekly administration meeting.

"Come in!" Angeal called out.

The door burst open and Zack came bounding in. "Hey guys!"

"Zack, that is NOT how you should address your superior officers."

"Oh man, sorry Angeal. Greetings, superior officers!"

Angeal shook his head despairingly. "What do you want, Zack?"

"Are you organising the next extended training trip? Just thought you might want to hear my suggestions!" Zack grinned cheekily after his announcement.

Genesis' eyes bulged in shock. "You thought WHAT? After what happened last time? Not a chance, Fair."

"Hey, that wasn't my fault-"

"Never mind that, Genesis. Zack, how'd you know we were discussing this?" Angeal asked in suspicion. He wouldn't put it past his mentee to listen outside of doors.

"Oh, I just figured you would be. Some of the Seconds were discussing the possibilities of where the next one would be and one of them mentioned that you guys would have to start organising it soon." Zack explained airily.

"Right, and you wanted to tell us your ideas for the next one? I think we can handle this by ourselves, thanks Zack."

"But you haven't heard my suggestion about where to go!" Zack cried indignantly. "Have you already picked somewhere?"

"Not that it's any of your business, Puppy, but no, we haven't yet." Genesis cast an annoyed glance at Angeal, wanting him to send his protégé away as soon as possible. Zack ignored him and continued.

"You should pick Gongaga! It's my hometown, kinda backwater, but great for heat training and there're loads of monsters lurking in the jungle areas."

"Huh, that must be why it's on the list already, I guess." Angeal mused.

"It's already a possibility? That's great! You should definitely pick it!"

"As has been suggested, I think we can handle this ourselves, Second." Sephiroth involved himself in the discussion, unwilling to have to defuse another Zack vs. Genesis situation, noticing that the irate First was already losing his temper at a rapid rate.

"Oh hey, I'm not implying that you can't! But how are you going to pick where to go?" Zack continued irrepressibly, hopeful of his chances at convincing the Firsts to pick his hometown. He hadn't seen his mother in ages and he missed her cooking desperately. The SOLDIER cafeteria wasn't exactly up to her standard, to say the least.

"We'll just put them into a pot and pick one at random I guess. No other way of doing it."

"Wait, what?" Genesis sat up abruptly. "And risk picking Costa Del Sol again? No way, Angeal. There has to be another way."

"We could vote on it." Sephiroth offered.

"I don't think that would work, there's only three of us, and loads of places to choose from."

"I'll help pick one!"

"No, Zack, that's quite alright."

"But 'Geeeaal! Come on, you guys'll never decide between yourselves! You need to find a good way of picking somewhere. Hey, I know! You all pick one and have a competition! The winner gets to choose where you go!"

"Hmm. That's not actually a bad suggestion, Puppy. Makes it more interesting anyway." Genesis looked thoughtful. "I pick Junon."

"Nibelheim." Sephiroth had picked up the list and perused it while Zack had been talking.

"Where?"

"I have no idea, I've never heard of the place. I merely picked one at random."

"Ok, then I choose Mideel."

"What? Come on, Angeal, why would you do that?"

"I don't have such an aversion to going home as you do, Genesis. Besides, I haven't been able to get away to see my mother in a long time."

"_Fine."_ Genesis let it go at that. "But what kind of competition?"

"Duel?" Sephiroth smirked.

"Not a chance."

"Wait, do I get a choice too? Since it was my idea?" Zack interrupted quickly.

The Firsts considered it. What harm could it do? The boy would just pick Gongaga, and besides, he was unlikely to beat them in any sort of contest. Glancing at the other two, who nodded their consent, Angeal answered him.

"Alright, Pup. You're picking Gongaga then?"

"Yup! You guys won't regret it a bit!"

"You're talking like you've already won, Fair." Sephiroth was amused at the boy's cockiness.

"No harm in being confident, General."

Angeal chuckled. "Ok, now we just have to decide how we're going to compete."

"Actually, I have an idea about that too." Zack piped up again.

Genesis rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Of course you do. What then, pray tell, is your grand idea?"

"You all pick something you find really hard not to do to give up, and the last one to give in wins!"

"That's a stupid idea. I knew it would be."

"Now, hold on a minute, Genesis, that's not actually such a bad idea. It's fair as long as we pick each other's things to give up." Angeal eyed his protégé thoughtfully. Zack had just exhibited some excellent leadership and team-building skills, taking the initiative, making some good suggestions and then managing to convince others of their merit. He should give some real thought to promoting him soon.

"Alright, Angeal. You have to give up coffee." Genesis smirked, knowing his friend's reliance on the caffeinated drink.

Angeal sighed. "Ok, fair enough. Zack, you have to give up squats."

"Hey, what? I'll lose my position in the rankings! Aww man, ok then. Guess it was my idea, after all."

"And you, Genesis? I think we all know what you have to give up." Sephiroth smiled.

Genesis looked confused. "What? Sparring? Banora Apples?"

"No. Loveless. No reading it, no quoting it incessantly, no mentioning of it at all at any time."

Genesis looked furious for a moment, and opened his mouth to protest angrily when a thought struck him. He closed his mouth and smirked at Sephiroth.

"Ok, fine. YOU have to give up your hair conditioner."

The smile disappeared from Sephiroth's face. A dark silence fell over the room. Zack, for once sensing that now was not the best time to exclaim and ask the silver-haired general what conditioner he used exactly to keep his hair looking so shiny, looked everywhere except at the silently fuming General.

000

A week later, the erratic, unusual and eccentric behaviour of the General and the Commanders was the hot talking point in the ShinRa building. A stressed-looking Commander Hewley turned up most mornings suffering from bad headaches, and the generally mild-mannered man would snap at the smallest provocation. Commander Rhapsodos walked the halls tight-lipped and with a permanent scowl on his face. The Book had not been seen in over a week, and the Study Group were becoming seriously worried about the possible implications of this. Had he lost it? Was it stolen? If so, why hadn't they heard about it? Or, Gaia forbid, had he…_lost interest in Loveless_? Such thoughts were inconceivable. Finally, and most worryingly, General Sephiroth was looking…frazzled. The typically immaculate General was seen, in _public_, looking _scruffy_. His usually perfect, long, silver hair was frizzy and wavy in odd places. The General himself had been storming around the building and going about his daily business with a face like thunder. He looked, as a couple of the younger interns giggled behind their hands, like a huge, grey, cranky bird.

Zack's friends had noticed him also exhibiting odd behaviour (well, as far as 'odd' could be considered an unusual thing in Zack), particularly around the General and the Commanders, but when asked about it, their queries were shrugged off and the subject was quickly changed. When they tried to involve him in their squat competitions, he practically ran away, or immediately began doing press-ups instead. Kunsel even dragged him, protesting loudly, to the Science Department for a hearing test. When the Science Department declared his hearing perfect, Kunsel scratched his head in perplexity and gave up. Zack was refusing to be at all forthcoming in response to his gentle probing, his subtle questions and finally, to his blunt and outright queries as to what on earth was wrong with him.

This state of affairs continued for another week. A secret meeting was called. The General and the Commanders huddled in Sephiroth's office (where they were least likely to be disturbed by a certain black-haired annoyance) and whispered frantically to each other.

"What are we going to do? I'd have thought he'd have cracked long before now. It's Zack, for Gaia's sake! He can barely turn up for training on time, never mind stick so stubbornly to one thing for weeks on end!" Genesis whispered angrily.

"I don't know; he can be pretty single-minded when he wants to be."

"This is all your fault, Angeal."

"MY fault? You were the one who liked his contest suggestion!"

"Yes, but you encouraged him!"

"You agreed!"

"Enough!" Sephiroth hissed through gritted teeth. "I refuse to go on like this for any longer. I have public appearances that I cannot continue to miss, and that I cannot turn up to looking like this! We have to find a way to decide this between ourselves."

"How?" Angeal groaned. "I can't take much more of this. My headaches aren't much better; though I hate to think what I'd be like back on coffee again after so long…"

"Never mind your coffee, what about L-, I mean, my book? I have bags of letters from anxious fans and I'm running out of excuses! And I have nothing to read before bed." Genesis pouted.

"You know, there are places called libraries which are full of books. You should try stepping into one sometime." Sephiroth remarked drily.

Angeal rubbed his temples tiredly. "We're getting off-topic. We need to decide between ourselves how we're going to do this. I have a couple of ideas. Two of us lapse, to lull Zack into a false sense of security. He might slip up if he sees us do so. Or-"

"Or what?" Genesis asked warily.

"OR, we could just let the kid win. It's annoying, but let's face it; he pretty much has us beat."

Sephiroth frowned. Genesis was outraged.

"No way! No! No, I will not let myself be defeated by that Third Class pain in the ass! Has the lack of caffeine in your system deprived you of your wits? He has not beaten us, not by a long way!"

Sephiroth sighed. "Actually, I must admit Angeal has a point. Look at us. We're huddled in my office, plotting to outwit a _Third Class_ because we can't stand to be without a couple of minor luxuries for any longer. Meanwhile, Fair has not even come close to lapsing. He's done well." Sephiroth admitted grudgingly.

"Yeah? How do we know Fair hasn't been doing squats whenever anyone wasn't looking?"

"Zack's a social animal. Everyone has been talking for the past two weeks about his fall in the rankings and his strange unwillingness to compete any more. He hasn't been doing squats at all. Unless he's been doing them in his sleep, which doesn't count." Angeal countered with a wry smile.

"Yes, but-"

"Genesis, give it up. We have no evidence to the contrary, and Zack's an honest kid. If he'd given up, he'd have come and told us."

Genesis subsided, muttering darkly.

"Alright. Seph, what do you want to do? Lapse and try to draw Zack into giving up too, or call it a day and let him win?"

"I still cannot believe I am resorting to plotting against a Third Class."

"And yet here we are."

"Indeed. Then I suppose the choice is gracefully admitting defeat, or trying to make Fair give up. If the boy has persisted this far, then I doubt two of us quitting will actually cause him to do the same. If anything, it will likely make him more stubborn."

"Agreed. Gracefully admitting defeat it is."

"Huh!" Genesis snorted to show what he thought of that.

"Don't start; you've never been able to gracefully admit defeat in your life."

"I have my pride!"

"So do we all, get over it."

Genesis eyed Angeal, irritated. "You know, my friend, you are far more pleasant when you're on coffee. At least something good will come out of this. I will never have to witness you in the grip of coffee-withdrawal ever again."

000

"Come in, Zack. Sit down." Angeal, sitting behind his desk, indicated the seat in front of it.

Zack edged nervously towards the chair proffered. The First Class trio were on edge, and as the chief cause of their upset, being alone in a room with the frazzled men was the last place on the Planet that Zack wanted to be. He sat nervously in the seat and grinned weakly.

"Hey. How's it going?"

Genesis, standing behind Angeal, tried to speak but was so angry that only an unintelligible squawk exploded from his mouth. Zack shrank in his seat slightly. The General looked distinctly unimpressed, leaning against the wall at the side of the room, and gave Zack a dark look from under his brows. Angeal sighed.

"Listen, Zack, the contest to decide where we go for the training expedition was a good idea, but since it's caused some…issues, we got together and just decided on a place."

"Oh. Um. Where did you pick?"

"Gongaga."

"That's where I picked! Hey, does that mean I-"

He was frozen into silence by the intensity of Angeal's glare.

"Uh, um, I mean, that's great! That you picked a place, I mean. Um. So I guess we can just go back to normal now then?"

"That's right."

"Awesome! So, uh, am I dismissed or was there something else?" Zack was anxious to escape any wrath that may potentially be coming his way for the chaos he'd unwittingly unleashed.

"You're dismissed. Go claim back your place in those rankings."

"Yeah, I will do. Thanks Angeal!" He stood, saluted, and all but ran out of the room.

There was a collective sigh of relief. Angeal pulled out a coffee pot from the stack of books he'd been hiding it behind, poured himself a mug and took a long draught. Genesis whipped Loveless out from his pocket, took a seat on Angeal's sofa and began reading to calm himself down. Sephiroth meanwhile, made a beeline for the door.

"Where are you going?" Angeal inquired as he sipped his coffee happily.

Sephiroth didn't slow his walk or pause for an instant. "Shower." He threw the word over his shoulder as he disappeared out of the door.


End file.
